It’s me, the House Spider that lives in the cleaning cupboard under your stairs, in the far corner, behind the boxes. This morning, we spotted each other, I was by the sink, near the kettle and I think that changed your mind about coming over, sorry about that. I want to explain why I am out and about so much, I am hoping it will stop you from squishing me with something, (your Cleaner nearly did that to me once, luckily I got away, it was the scariest thing that has ever happened to me).
You may not know this, but I have been living with you since I was a spiderling and I always keep close to my cupboard where you can’t see me. So, up until now, all has been good, but, something has happened to me. Something that has made me go crazy for lady spiders. I just can’t help it. I’m obsessed. I find myself venturing out onto the big wide floors and open places that I wouldn’t normally dare to – it’s madness! I think it’s something to do with the time of year and the fact that I am a male spider.
My problem is that the lady spiders are so hard to find, they don’t leave their webs and so I have to just keep searching. And the worst thing is that when I do find one, if she is not in the mood for a male spider in her web she might eat me – can you believe that, I am just hoping she will like me.
One more thing, all of this will not affect my bug eating, you can depend on me to keep your house clean of those, and once I have found my lady I will get back to being Mr Discreet.
PS Thanks for not throwing me outside last week when you found me in your bath, I know you wanted to clean it. I went in to get a drink of water and got stuck; the loo roll ladder worked a treat and I got out as quick as I could.
Need a cleaner call Orchard Home Cleaning 01604 791799